52 Ancestors #3: Marilyn Ballenger, the Aunt I Never Knew

In my last two posts, I wrote about how my grandfather, Lloyd Ballenger, began his 50-year tenure at Reeb’s Restaurant in Columbus, Ohio, in 1933. I also shared how my grandmother, Nora Belle Eberhard, met and fell in love with him, leading to their elopement on March 30, 1935. I’ll continue their story this week, although it’s a much harder chapter to tell.

In 1936, the young couple lived in an apartment at 535 Oakwood Ave. on the near east side of Columbus, within easy walking distance of Reeb’s. Nora was thrilled when she found out she was pregnant early in the year. She endured a long, hot summer in the apartment, chatting with her neighbors in the morning and walking down to the restaurant in the afternoon, when the lunchtime rush was over. All of the employees and many regular customers knew she was expecting.

On August 9, 1936, Nora gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. They named her Marilyn Sue Ballenger. Lloyd received hearty congratulations, cigars, and free drinks from his many well-wishers at Reeb’s. Nora delighted in visits from her sisters and friends. Even though it was her first child, Nora had a lot of experience with babies from helping her mother tend her five younger siblings. She knew what to do when Marilyn fussed.

As the humid days of August gave way to blue September skies, Nora started taking Marilyn down to Reeb’s on her afternoon walks, happily pushing the baby carriage in front of her. Her daughter would nap in the carriage while she talked and laughed with the waitresses. It was a golden month.

But in mid-October, something went terribly wrong. Marilyn caught a cold, or so it seemed; she rasped, wheezed, and cried, and nothing Nora did seemed to settle her down. After a long day and night with the inconsolable baby, Nora took her to the doctor. Decades later, she would remember the shock of that Tuesday afternoon as clearly as if it just happened.

The doctor told Nora that he was sorry, but something was wrong with little Marilyn’s heart. He couldn’t do anything for her. There was no medicine, no surgery, nothing that would fix it. She had the pneumonia now, but even if she got over that, it wouldn’t cure what was wrong with her heart. The best thing Nora could do was take her home and love her for the time she had left. He was so sorry.

By Saturday morning, October 17, 1936, Marilyn's struggles were over. She was nine weeks old.

I can’t imagine how incredibly hard those four days must have been for my grandparents. When she told me the story, more than fifty years after it happened, Nora couldn’t hold back the tears. The pain in her own heart was still fresh.

In her grief, Nora realized she had no photograph, nothing to remember Marilyn by. They didn’t own a camera. Lloyd found a neighbor with a camera, and his wife helped Nora dress the baby. The neighbor kindly took a picture of Lloyd and Nora with their first-born daughter, now laying peacefully in Nora’s lap. It was hard to do at the time, but the picture brought Nora some comfort in the years that followed.

Marilyn was buried in Otterbein Cemetery in Westerville, Ohio. She rests today next to Lloyd's brother, Dwight “Smokey” Ballenger, and his wife. Even though her parents are not there, little Marilyn has plenty of family at Otterbein Cemetery. Her paternal grandparents Charles and Irene Ballenger, great-grandparents James and Anna Ballenger, and great-great-grandparents Charles and Rebecca Jane Ballenger are all there. Her maternal grandparents, Llewellyn and Mary Eberhard, are in a different section of the historic cemetery.

In writing this, I hope to preserve Marilyn’s story, and honor my grandparents’ memories. Marilyn’s life was short, but she was never forgotten. Perhaps this will help ensure she never will be.

--Shelley

Certificate citation: “Ohio Deaths, 1908-1953,” digital image, FamilySearch (www.familysearch.org: accessed 5 April 2011), death certificate no. 62724 (1936), Marilyn Sue Ballenger; citing original records, Ohio Department of Health, held at Ohio Historical Society, Columbus.

© Shelley Bishop 2014

This is the third in a series, “52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks,” coordinated by Amy Johnson Crow at No Story Too Small.

You might also enjoy:

52 Ancestors #1: Lloyd Ballenger and Reeb’s Restaurant

52 Ancestors #2: Love WinsOut for Nora Eberhard

Anna Payne Ballenger - Tombstone Tuesday

ANNA M. BALLENGER

MAY 3, 1864

NOV. 20, 1924

AGE 60 Y. 6 M. 17 D.

DEAR MOTHER

Anna Ballenger was my great-great-grandmother. Her maiden name was Payne. I’m not sure what her middle initial “M” stands for. She married James Madison Ballenger on January 19, 1881, in Delaware County, Ohio, when she was 17 years old. They had four children: Charles, Clarence, and twins Cyril and Cecil. Her tombstone in Otterbein Cemetery in Westerville, Ohio, was clearly placed by her children, all of whom were living at the time. I still have a lot to learn about Anna’s life. Her son and my great-grandfather, Charles C. Ballenger, put “Don’t know” in response to questions about her parents on her death certificate, so it’s not surprising that no family stories or photos have been passed down through our branch of the family.

James’ tombstone mirrors hers, reading “DEAR FATHER.” He died suddenly in 1913 at the age of 58, leaving Anna a widow for the next 11 years. For his obituary, along with a picture of his marker, see my previous post: James Ballenger Suddenly Stricken

Related Post:
Surname Saturday: Ballenger Family

James Ballenger Suddenly Stricken - Sunday's Obituary

At the Ohio Historical Society last week, I discovered an obituary for my great-great-grandfather, James Ballenger, which appeared on the front page of the Westerville, Ohio Public Opinion. Besides providing a wealth of genealogical information, it paints a vivid picture of his last hours. (A word of explanation: "Africa" in this case refers to Africa, Ohio, a small community north of Westerville in Delaware County. Africa got its name from a particularly active section of the Underground Railroad, nicknamed the "Africa Road," that ran through the area.)

SUDDENLY STRICKEN

James M. Ballenger, of Africa,

Meets Death WIthout Warning

     James Madison Ballenger, son of Charles and Elizabeth Ballenger, was born in Athens County, O., Jan. 19, 1858, and died at his home near Africa, March 7, 1913, being 58 years, 2 months and 16 days old.
     His last sickness was very brief, he having arisen as usual and after a hearty breakfast nearly completed his morning chores, when he came to the house and complained of feeling weak. In a few moments he grew rapidly worse and said to his wife, "Let me lie down to die." His last words were a prayer for divine grace and mercy to prepare him for the presence of Jesus.
     January 19, 1881, he married Anna Payne, who with his four children, Charles of Westerville, Clarence of Detroit, Mich., Cecil and Cyril who are at home, one brother, Charles, and four sisters, mourn his sudden death.

     "When my heart the world is rending

      With its heaviest storm of care,

       My glad heart to God ascending

Finds a refuge from despair.

    There is a hand of mercy near me

       Tho' the waves of troubled roar;

            There's an hour of rest to cheer me

    When the toils of life are o'er.

Gently, Lord, O gently lead us

      Thru this lonely vale of tears;

                      Thru the changes thou hast decreed us,

             Til our last great change appears;

      When temptation's darts assail us,

      Let thy goodness never fail us,

           When in devious paths we stray,

   Lead us in thy perfect way."

     The funeral was held at Mr. Ballenger's late home, where a large circle of acquaintances paid their last respects to him who so recently was one of us. Rev. Arthur Smith, pastor of the Wesleyan church at Africa, spoke briefly from Psa. 46: 1-2, after which the body was laid away in Otterbein Cemetery.

Card of Thanks

     We wish to thank our dear friends and neighbors for their kindness at the death of our loving father and husband, and also for the beautiful tribute of flowers.
                                                                                             Mrs. Anna Ballenger
                                                                                             and Children


I can't imagine what Anna must have felt that day when her husband of 32 years walked in from his morning chores (she was probably in the middle of her own) and told her he needed to lie down and die. What do you say in response to that? The official cause of death on James' death certificate was "Neuralgia of heart." I found "neuralgia" defined as "severe sharp stabbing paroxysmal of pain," so to my non-medical eye it sounds like he suffered a heart attack.

One new piece of information I gained from the obituary is James' middle name, Madison. All the other records I have for him only give the initial M. There are discrepancies, however, between the obituary, tombstone, and death certificate on two important points: the year of birth and the day of death. The death certificate and tombstone both say James was born in 1855, making him 58 years old in 1913. The obituary confirms he was 58 years old, but gives his year of birth as 1858 (which would make him only 55). I tend to trust the certificate and tombstone on this point. The tombstone and obituary both say he died on March 7, but the death certificate reads a scrawled March 8. I'm less sure about which is correct for this one. My next steps are to look for a probate file and funeral home record. Maybe one of them will settle the matter. Either way, it was not a good day for the Ballenger family.

Sources:
   James M. Ballenger obituary, Public Opinion (Westerville, Ohio), 13 March 1913, p. 1 col. 5.
   "Ohio Deaths 1908-1953," digital image, FamilySearch (www.familysearch.org: accessed 12 May 2011), death certificate no. 14644 (1913), James M. Ballenger; citing original records of Ohio Department of Health, Ohio Historical Society, Columbus.
    Otterbein Cemetery (Westerville, Franklin County, Ohio), J. M. Ballenger marker, section 3; personally read, 2010.